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Caregivers: Leave Rights Clearer in FMLA Guide

Here’s a Department of Labor (DOL) guide on the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) that working family caregivers may find invaluable. The step-by-step, easy-to-read resource outlines who is eligible for FMLA, how employees can apply for and take leave and their rights to keep their job when they’re ready to return to work.

FMLA allows workers to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for, among other reasons, caregiving for loved ones who are ill.

FMLA derives from a simple idea: An employee who is sick or needs to care for an ill family member, should not have to fear losing his or her job. Hundreds of pages of rules and regulations have been written to clarify this idea, resulting in both employees and employers struggling to understand their rights and obligations. It’s complicated, which makes the federal guide a delightful find.

Of particular interest to caregivers is the section in the guide defining the rights of caregivers, including parents caring for children or their parents and grandparents caring for their adult children or grandkids. The regulations apply to all families, regardless of sexual orientation.

Caregiver: You may be surprised by the rights you have and the protections available to you under the federal statute. That is, if you qualify. In order to be eligible for FMLA:

  1. Your employer must be required to provide the leave. In general, larger companies, with 50 or more workers, are covered.
  2. You must have worked long enough for that covered employer, which is generally at least 12 months and 1,250 hours during that period. Part-time employees who meet these standards are ordinarily eligible.
  3. You must have a reason that qualifies. It includes having a “serious health condition,” that is, being under the care of a physician, or needing the time to care for a family member with a serious health condition.

The Employee’s Guide to the Family and Medical Leave Act makes it clear that adult children caring for their parents, and grandparents responsible for their grandchildren, are eligible for FMLA, as is a husband or wife caring for a spouse.

A child includes a biological, adopted, foster or step child, or a child for whom the person acts “in loco parentis.” For example, an employee with no biological or legal relationship to a child who is nevertheless responsible for that child’s day-to-day care and financial support, is “in loco parentis” to that child, making them eligible for FMLA where a serious health condition exists. Easy-to-follow flow charts make eligibility understandable.

If you meet these guidelines, your next step is to apply for the leave. The handbook lays out what you must do to apply, what your employer needs from you to verify the need for the leave, and what your boss’ obligations are to grant you that time off.

Use the guide to understand your rights. It may not cover all the fine points, but it’s a good place to start and you don’t have to be a lawyer or policy expert to understand it!

For more information on FMLA, head over to the DOL website.

Do You Mind? Meditation for Caregivers

Grand Velas Riviera Maya via CreativeCommons.org

It’s time to take up meditation. A new UCLA study shows it’s a great stress-buster for caregivers–better, in fact, than a relaxation CD. Participants were taking care of family members with dementia, but it could really apply to any group–and not just caregivers. Who wouldn’t want to feel less depressed and have a sharp brain?

Here are the details from one of my weekly AARP blogs:

For dementia caregivers, it seems that daily meditation can lower depression, improve cognitive functioning—yes, we’re talking about the caregiver here—and even reduce cellular aging caused by stress.

According to a recent UCLA study reported in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, meditation did a better job of keeping the blues at bay than a relaxation CD given to caregivers.

This study may be small, but compelling because:

  • 5.4 million people in the U.S. have Alzheimer’s
  • More than 15 million Americans do unpaid caregiving for those with dementia
  • 80% of care is provided at home by family caregivers
  • Close to 50% of family dementia caregivers are clinically depressed

Researchers had 49 family caregivers 45-91 years old (36 adult children and 13 spouses) divide into two groups. The meditation group learned a 12-minute Kirtan Kriya yoga practice that included chanting, finger poses, and visualization meditation.

The second group listened to instrumental music on a CD in a quiet place with their eyes closed. The groups did either meditation or relaxation listening at the same time every day for eight weeks.

And the winner is. . .meditation, with 65% showing a 50% improvement on a depression scale (vs. 31% for the CD group), and 52% with a 50% improvement in mental health and cognitive functioning (compared to 19%).

But the next finding may take your breath away. Meditation slowed cellular aging by increasing telomerase activity. Before I lose you: An enzyme known as telomerase is associated with health risks and diseases that can be regulated by stress. Without telomerase activity, the cells divide, and telomeres, as they’re called, become so short they die. So the more there’s telomerase activity, the longer the immune cells will last.

The group practicing meditation had a whopping 43% improvement in telomerase activity, while the relaxation group scored just 3.7%.

UCLA’s caregiver program has added yoga/meditation to its offerings. This doesn’t mean the relaxation CD wasn’t valuable. It, too, reduced depression, boosted mental function, and hiked telomerase activity.

You probably don’t have to take care of someone with dementia to benefit from the UCLA findings, either. Stress from any kind of caregiving can lead to poor mental and physical health. And, meditation can relax the body and the mind.

Here are more resources to get you thinking:

Or, contemplate these other articles on the power of meditation:

  1. Free mindful meditation podcasts from UCLA 
  2. Help for family dementia caregivers 
  3. American Meditation Institute

 



Neighborhood Websites For Caregivers?

 

Lauren Wellicome via CreativeCommons.org

 

Could you name all the neighbors on your block or in your building? According to a Pew research report, fifty percent of us would flunk the name game. But there’s a way to find out what’s happening where you live (a new development or stores in the area, a rash of break-ins, a group garden, a favorite handyman, a fabulous local resource, a request) and get to know those around you. Neighborhood websites.

And, they are catching on. Here’s one of my AARP blog posts on the topic.

http://blog.aarp.org/2012/03/15/neighborhood-websites-help-caregivers/

 

 

 

Feeling Invisible

I’ve been wrestling with the issue of invisibility–as in, the guys just aren’t giving me “the look” I used to get. The guys who would also happen to be around 60. Yes, I said sixty. I also am happily married, so I’m not even looking for “the look,” but it would be nice to know it’s there.

It seems that lots of older women, and men, are also feeling this invisibility phenomenon. A fascinating article awhile back by Christie Mellor in The Los Angeles Times entitled “Baby Boomer Women Won’t Go Quietly into the Good Night” touches on this issue, mentioning two  books that are trying to counter the we’re-over-the-hill-so-just-accept-it attitude. Baby boomers just don’t work that way. Thank goodness! We want to have as much fun and meaning in our lives for as long as we live (did I mention sex?). With increasing medical know-how, diet, exercise, and other good stuff, that may be three decades or more. The two books  in the LA Times are “Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve” and “Fifty & Fabulous!: The Best Years of a Woman’s Life.”

True confessions: I haven’t read them but the titles sound a bit too chirpy for me.  I think it’s fabulous that we’re not curling up in the corner. I have no (well, not a lot of, well maybe a little) trouble turning “the look” baton over to my two attractive daughters. But I do have trouble accepting the fact that people’s reaction to telling them I have adult children (ages 30, 28, and 25, and a daughter-in-law!). Even last year, it seems that when I told them I had kids that old, the cross-the-board response was, “That is simply not possible! You look way too young to have children that old!” Now it’s more of a nod. And you know what that means. . .

So I am not head-over-heels about getting older AND  I am committed to fully living for a long time. But let’s get back to invisibility. Do any of you feel this way? When? Any words of wisdom? Do you think that reading books that celebrate age 50+ women is helpful or sharing your feelings with peers?

 

Remembering the Piano, Not Names

Confession: I wasn’t dying to go to the brunch at my mother-in-law’s assisted living place out of town today. The musicians who play these gigs could easily be residents.

The visit is particularly tough for me because my 91-year-old mother died just a month ago. In the lobby is my mother-in-law (happy 92nd next week). She is wheeling my mother’s cobalt blue walker (the Range Rover of geriatric gear), which I gave her, along with lots of my mother’s jewelry.

She looks fabulous in the chunky, alabaster glass necklace and matching earrings. Compliments are flowing about her gems from fellow residents and their families. I am thrilled I have given them to her, and I know my mother would have been pleased, too, but it feels weird, too. I’m feeling a bit blue.

But then, at dessert this woman Roz I have never met comes up and asks me if I am my mother-in-law! Hmmm. Then she asks me if I’d like to hear her play the piano. Why not, I think? I can do this!! So I follow her into the other room.

She can barely see and has just confused me with a nonagenerian, so I’m hardly expecting mad piano skills. The woman is amazing! She plays vivaciously from memory and belts out the lyrics to “If I Were a Rich Man,” and then some songs from her era I haven’t heard.

A 14-month-old great, great granddaughter of another resident is carried into the room and starts to dance.  The pianist is delighted with her audience–the baby, her mother, and I-all folks who have just met Roz. I clap and the baby is twirled. After one song, Roz shows infant a brightly colored velcro toy on her walker; the little girl is fascinated.

After six consecutive songs, Roz rises and takes her walker. I tell her my name and she says, “Sorry, I can’t remember names. It’s so embarrassing living here for four years with the same people and I have no idea what their names are.”

I tell her, “You may not remember names, but they can’t play the piano like you.” She thinks about it and says, “Yes, but wouldn’t you be embarrassed if you couldn’t remember?”

What I will remember from today is not to underestimate people, regardless of age.

 

Thank you, Roz!

Working Caregivers And Clueless Bosses

Staggering statistic: 61.1 million Americans care for older friends or relatives (AARP). Here’s another: Caregiving costs U.S. businesses nearly $33.billion a year in productivity (MetLife and the National Alliance for Caregiving).

Okay, it’s a dilemma for both sides. In my AARP Bulletin piece http://aarp.us/oslBAh, I talk to working caregivers, some of whom feel penalized for having aging parent responsibilities.

I also ask negotiator extraordinaire Susan Hackley, executive director of the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, for strategies to discuss caregiving responsibilities with your boss.

Here are a couple of her tips (read the rest in my story):

1. Level with your boss and explain you can do your job and take care of Mom, Dad, or a spouse.

2.  Describe the problem and have solutions ready, from working from home a day or two a week or leaving early and making up the time. Invite your boss to discuss his/her concerns.

Other resources you can check out:

The National Alliance for Caregiving www.caregiving.org

The National Family Caregivers Association www.nfcacares.org/

A Negative Attitude Toward Older Workers?

Older workers get a bad rap: too slow, not productive enough. But what about a company that seeks out the 70, 80, and even 90-year-old set? At the Vita Needle Factory in Needham, MA, I visited a factory where grey hair, or no hair, is the norm, where the annual gross sales are $11 million, and employees are valued for their loyalty, quality of product, work ethic.

Some don’t even need the paycheck, but do the manual labor to stay connected, hang out with peers, and have a sense of purpose. Did I mention they have to walk up 19 steep steps to get to the factory floor? Rather than a sense of drudgery, visitors see productivity and optimism. It made this 50-something feel like a slacker!

Do you think we value older, older workers and if not, why not? Would you would want to work at that age? What would you rather be doing?

Watch them at work in this youtube video: http://bit.ly/nop60U

The Top Three Age-Friendly Cities

Happy 65th birthday, 78 million boomers! Just 20 more years until you’re 85! And what of it?

Today, Philadelphia has the highest proportion of people age 60+, with more than half minority or foreign-born. And, New York City’s older population is going to soar by almost 50% in the next 25 years. AARP research shows that 89% of older Americans want to stay put.

Cities like Philly and NYC are scrambling to find ways to make it easier for older Americans to age in their communities (the lingo is “age in place”). This means good public transportation when driving no longer works, plenty of walking routes, access to parks and stores, and opportunities to participate in the community.

“Age-friendy cities” and “livable communities” are the new buzzwords you need to know. In fact, there are 300 livable community efforts nationwide that include creative partnerships between federal, state, and local agencies, businesses, nonprofits, academia, and experts to make their city hospitable to the old and frail (as well as all ages, naturally).

It makes fiscal sense to care: people live in places that address their needs.

I interviewed experts from New York City, Atlanta, and Philly who are creating age-friendly environments.  These include changing zoning codes to mix commercial and residential so people can shop wherer they live, and getting businesses to think older with chairs to rest and bigger signage, the better to see, my dear.

Take a look at what these cities are doing. http://aarp.us/qOJ59D

 

Contact Sally Abrahms