I’ve been wrestling with the issue of invisibility–as in, the guys just aren’t giving me “the look” I used to get. The guys who would also happen to be around 60. Yes, I said sixty. I also am happily married, so I’m not even looking for “the look,” but it would be nice to know it’s there.
It seems that lots of older women, and men, are also feeling this invisibility phenomenon. A fascinating article awhile back by Christie Mellor in The Los Angeles Times entitled “Baby Boomer Women Won’t Go Quietly into the Good Night” touches on this issue, mentioning two books that are trying to counter the we’re-over-the-hill-so-just-accept-it attitude. Baby boomers just don’t work that way. Thank goodness! We want to have as much fun and meaning in our lives for as long as we live (did I mention sex?). With increasing medical know-how, diet, exercise, and other good stuff, that may be three decades or more. The two books in the LA Times are “Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve” and “Fifty & Fabulous!: The Best Years of a Woman’s Life.”
True confessions: I haven’t read them but the titles sound a bit too chirpy for me. I think it’s fabulous that we’re not curling up in the corner. I have no (well, not a lot of, well maybe a little) trouble turning “the look” baton over to my two attractive daughters. But I do have trouble accepting the fact that people’s reaction to telling them I have adult children (ages 30, 28, and 25, and a daughter-in-law!). Even last year, it seems that when I told them I had kids that old, the cross-the-board response was, “That is simply not possible! You look way too young to have children that old!” Now it’s more of a nod. And you know what that means. . .
So I am not head-over-heels about getting older AND I am committed to fully living for a long time. But let’s get back to invisibility. Do any of you feel this way? When? Any words of wisdom? Do you think that reading books that celebrate age 50+ women is helpful or sharing your feelings with peers?
